This was kind of hard for me to post. If you’ve been around these parts for a bit, you know I have PCOS, a syndrome that causes a hormone imbalance. PCOS can cause obesity and makes it hard to lose weight. Recently, I’ve been ballooning in weight quite quickly. It’s been knocking my confidence down a peg in a major way. I’m getting more active and eating better to try to take care of myself, but in the mean time I need to accept myself more and love who I am where I am. This video is kind of a part of that journey.
There’s something about seeing yourself from another person’s perspective that can make you feel so strange. When we filmed this, B set the camera at his eye level. When I was editing it, I felt like I didn’t even know who the person was in this footage. It was like looking at a stranger. I don’t feel like I look in this footage. I don’t have an issue with being a bigger girl, but I do have an issue with not feeling my best.
I’ve been watching a lot more plus-size girls on YouTube and it’s been helping me come to understand and love my body more, but I haven’t found many girls whose body types are specifically similar to mine. I figured it would be nice to show how the clothes looked on in an attempt to represent more people who look like me and feel like I do. Plus, I’m really into the clothes I picked out and I’ve gotten a lot of use out of them. I’m trying to streamline my closet (especially after watching this video) and I’m doing surprisingly well at it, but more on that later.
I really appreciate you guys for being so supportive of me and my health journey. Thanks for letting me get some feelings out (and a haul too).
We shall talk soon.